Uses for a Dead Horse

How to flog a dead horse.

The tribal wisdom of the Dakota Indians, passed on from generation to generation says, "When you discover you are riding a dead horse, the best strategy is to dismount".

However in this politically correct age, modern government, education and business have a whole range of far more advanced strategies, such as:

1. Changing riders

2. Threatening the horse with termination if its performance doesn't improve

3. Buying a stronger whip

4. Appointing a committee to study the horse's non-performance

5. Arranging to visit other countries to see how others ride dead horses

6. Lowering the standards so that dead horses can be included in the group

7. Reclassifying the dead horse as "living impaired"

8. Hiring outside consultants to write fresh instructions on riding the dead horse

9. Harnessing several dead horses together to increase group output

10. Providing additional funding and training to increase the dead horse's performance

11. Doing a productivity study to see if lighter riders would improve the dead horse's performance

12. Declaring that, as the dead horse does not have to be fed, it is contributing more substantially to the bottom line of the economy than do live horses

13. Rewriting the expected performance requirements of all horses so as not to hurt the feelings of the dead horse

14. Promoting the dead horse to a supervisory level.